This guest blog post was written by Kristin Struss.
Image by Anthony Russo for the New York Times
Stories of how children come into people’s lives never cease to amaze me. Peter Mercurio’s story of how he and his partner found their son and subsequently how their son became of part of their family is a miracle onto itself. In the article, “We Found Our Son on the Subway“, Mercurio tells the story of how his partner, Danny, found a baby at the Subway and how this child and the adoption process changed their lives. Even though Peter and Danny had never discussed adopting a child and their lives were not set up for bringing a child into their home, their hearts were. When the Judge asked if anyone would be willing to adopt the baby, Danny immediately said “yes.” When Danny and Peter completed the adoption process they asked the Judge why she asked Danny if he was interested in adopting the baby. The Judge answered that she had a “hunch”. That hunch turned out to be right and changed the lives of three people for the better. Ten year later, when Danny and Peter had the opportunity to marry, their son, Kevin, asked if they could get the same Judge that had completed the adoption. Kevin and the Judge embraced when they met and the Judge was able to see the outcome of her “hunch”.
The strengths of this article are that Mercurio tells an honest story about how one morning could change three lives for the better. He talks about their experiences as a foster family and how baby Kevin changed their lives. Mercurio also honestly talks about his fears that when the Judge saw Kevin ten years later, she would somehow be disappointed in how he turned out and be disappointed in her decision.
One limitation of this article is that Mercurio’s description of their experience with the foster care/adoption system seems over simplified. They found the child, became foster parents for him and then adopted him. It would have been beneficial to explain any challenges or frustrations they may have had throughout the process, especially if there were any frustrations or barriers because they are a same sex couple.
I believe this article did an outstanding job of dispelling the myth that same sex partners are unable to foster or adopt children. Danny and Peter found this child by chance; they became licensed foster care providers for him and then were able to promote permanency and stability for Kevin by adopting him.
Mercurio ends his story by an amazing summary of returning to the adoption Judge and asking her to complete his and Danny’s marriage ceremony. “When we finally remembered the purpose of the visit, and Danny and I moved into position to exchange vows, I reflected on the improbable circumstances that delivered all of us to this moment. We weren’t supposed to be there, two men, with a son we had never dreamed of by our side, getting married by a woman who changed and enriched our lives more than she would ever know. But there we were, thanks to a fateful discovery and a judicious hunch” (Mercurio 2013).
